The Reality of Fakeness: To All the Sad and Lonely People of Instagram
When I switched to becoming a freelancer, it never struck me that this would mean solitary lunches — me, my chicken-rice, and the silence of the house — for the rest of my days. Consequently, there are days when I take a brief peek at Netflix while I eat. Usually, it’s just a few minutes of Jamie Oliver or something.
Last week, I landed on a hidden gem, which not only took over my lunch hour, but also engulfed the entire afternoon. (That happens every now and then.)
Back to the gem.
It was an Indie style dark comedy called Ingrid Goes West.
The film revolves around a troubled girl who goes to extreme extents to find intimacy. Ingrid, the protagonist, has recently lost her mother after a (presumably?) long illness. Her loneliness is so pronounced; and her denial of reality so strong — that she falls right off the edge of sanity in the pursuit of modern-day gods ofhappy success(as I like to call them) — Instagram influencers.
You know, the chirpy, willowy girls who seem to live entirely on lettuce and green shakes, and still manage hearty laughs? They wear chic boho dresses, and upload pictures of artfully poised hands curled around steaming mugs of kale coffee, showing just the flawless silver of grey nail paint.
One of the questions that that really stands out in this film, is how social media affects people who are dealing with trauma. How do the emotionally sick perceive the world of perfection injected live into their feeds everyday?
This reminded me of the time when I was going through a phase of utter desolation which lasted more than a year. This was way back in 2004, when we had zero social media. No Orkut, No Facebook, nothing. The computer was really something you played video games on for a couple of hours, and that’s it. How did I cope, I ask myself now?
I used to go to the public library near my house and spend hours reading novels. I dived into the deep end of fiction with Robert Ludlum, David Morell, and Stephen King.
That’s how I spent my endless lonely hours.
When I think of it now, it strikes me how lucky I was that there wasn’t really any Facebook, or any other social media channel.
Back then, you had no way of knowing what’s really happening inside anyone’s life until you had an actual conversation with them. My environment consisted of simply what I saw unfolding before my eyes in real time.
That’s exactly what you need when you are going through a tough phase. You just be. You simply exist, and live through it like a prison sentence until you learn to let go and things look better. Ofcourse, I didn’t know any of this back then.
But now we have Instagram. As does Ingrid. She channelizes all of her energy on a single person who she believes is ‘livin’ it up’ — something otherwise unachievable for Ingrid. So, she goes to the same cafes. She buys the same handbag. She reads the same book. She mimics the forced laughter. She tussles to be main man in her ideal’s life.
Alas, there’s no peace when you’re flying with cardboard wings.
Ingrid realizes that her hero is as distorted as her present pursuit for happiness is. A pin-up who is as desperate to establish her coolness, as Ingrid is to be accepted.
Though Ingrid is equal parts infuriating as she is pathetic, but so is her ideal. Right from the beginning, you know that Ingrid is careening after a mirage. Who do you feel bad for in such a situation? The pursuer or the mirage?
The movie is peppered with such little question marks, popping out from behind various comical but poignant scenes.
What I came up with after I sat down, and had a good think about Instagram and other popular social media channels and how they may be affecting someone who is suffering.
Switch it off: Social media, I believe, has an even more adverse impact on those who are facing an emotionally challenging time. If you recently had a debilitating accident, pictures of gorgeous people springing out from under aquamarine waters is going to make you feel worse.
When you are dealing with something difficult, limit your social media surfing time. Just do it. Instagram, in fact, even has a ‘Your Activity’ tab for this purpose.
Now, channelize your attention into real-time activities that keep you focused on the present, like Zentangle or running.
Improve your feeds: The honest truth is that we would much likely be distracted than face our problems. This is backed by science.
What we need to appreciate is that that’s okay. Just choose better portals to be distracted with. Change your feed, so you can change your mind. Follow actual heroes and better idols, those who don’t just show you constructed beauty, but raw loveliness. I personally love Paul Nicken and Najwa Zebian’s Instagram feed, and have been following them for years.
It’s tedious to not get effected by social media when life’s going good. But it makes me cringe to think what it does to those are sad, lonely, or simply not feeling too good about life.
