Your points about the subtleties of racism are bang on. I recently read Kiley Reid's 'Such a Fun Age' and her entire story revolves around your personal favorite: white people going out of their way to denounce racism or defend black people.

Giving extra attention or credit is also an act of racism.

What I understood from the novel and your post is that a truly non-racist person would just treat a black / Asian / Indian / Arabic person as a person. They will judge, but not on race or colour. They will judge the person, like all humans do.